HER's Toolkit
Every Tool HER Actually Uses
Vetted, tested, and organized so you don't have to guess. These are the resources HER reaches for — not because of commissions, but because they work.
Vetted, tested, and organized so you don't have to guess. These are the resources HER reaches for — not because of commissions, but because they work.
The check HER runs before anyone gets close.
HER's first stop for a fast, private people search. Cross-references name, age, location, social profiles, and address history. Find out who someone actually is in under five minutes — before the third date.
Run a Search →Need a deeper report — criminal history, civil records, marriage and divorce history, known associates? HER's full guide compares every major background search service so you know exactly what to run and when.
See HER's Guide →Personal background checks for consumer use — criminal records, identity verification, and more. When you need an official report rather than a people search, Checkr delivers a clean, trusted result.
Run a Check →Not just any therapist. One who understands what you've been through.
Structured CBT-based therapy with a real licensed therapist, from home, on your schedule. Built for the kind of compounded stress that forms after narcissistic abuse, high-conflict relationships, and betrayal. Use code THERAPY20 for 20% off your first month.
Get Started →Before you get to therapy, you need language for what happened. HER's articles on gaslighting, DARVO, love bombing, and narcissistic abuse give you the framework to understand what you actually experienced.
Read HER's Guides →High-conflict co-parenting runs on paperwork. Here's what HER uses.
A portable AI recording device that captures conversations, generates real-time notes, and creates a timestamped record of every exchange — including custody pickups and school handoffs where things get "misremembered." Your record, your device, no app required on their end.
⚠️ Recording laws vary by state — check your state's one-party vs two-party consent rules before recording anyone other than yourself.
Get Hey Pocket →Court-admissible co-parenting communication platform. Every message is timestamped and logged — nothing gets deleted, edited, or "misremembered." Judges know what it is. Attorneys recommend it. Your ex will hate it, which tells you everything.
Learn More →HER's full guide to documenting high-conflict co-parenting situations — what to save, how to format it, and what courts actually look for. Start here before anything else.
Read the Guide →Your address, your phone number, your location history — sitting on 400+ data broker sites. Here's how to take it back.
The #1 rated personal data removal service per Consumer Reports and PCMag Editors' Choice four years running. Optery finds and removes your personal information from 635+ data broker sites with monthly automated scanning and live screenshot proof. Critical for anyone who left a dangerous relationship and needs their location off the internet.
Remove Your Data →HER's complete guide to protecting your personal data after a divorce or separation — what data brokers have, how they get it, and how to remove yourself before your ex can use it to find you.
Read HER's Guide →For teen drivers, fleet tracking, and knowing your vehicle is where it should be.
Plug-in OBD-II tracker (ShadowAuto) and battery-powered tracker (ShadowTrack) for your own vehicles. Know where your teen is. Know your car hasn't been tampered with. Real-time location, simple app, no monthly commitment traps. Legal on vehicles you own.
Get ShadowGPS →What HER actually recommends before a teenager takes the car alone — GPS tracking, location check-ins, and the conversation you need to have first. Safety without surveillance.
Read the Guide →One book per week in HER's Letters. This week's pick:
Every Tuesday, HER's Letters includes one book recommendation. Subscribe to get this week's pick delivered directly to your inbox — along with the check, the red flag, and the resource you actually need.
See on Amazon →The check, the red flag, and the tool worth knowing about — delivered weekly.
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