WHAT TO UPDATE AFTER DIVORCE: YOUR WILL, BENEFICIARIES & GUARDIANSHIP

The decree is signed. You’re exhausted. And somewhere in a drawer is a life insurance policy that still pays your ex.

Here’s the thing nobody tells you on the way out of the courthouse: a divorce decree splits your stuff, but it doesn’t update most of the paperwork that decides where your money goes, or who makes decisions for you and your kids, if something happens to you. That part is on you. Let’s knock it out together.

The short answer: After divorce, update these first: your beneficiary designations (life insurance, 401(k), IRA, bank accounts), your will, your guardianship and trustee choices for your kids, your power of attorney and health care directive, and your joint accounts and credit. Beneficiary forms usually override your will, so start there.

1. Beneficiary Designations (Do This First)

This is the big one. Life insurance, 401(k)s, IRAs, pensions, and “payable on death” bank accounts all go to whoever is named on the beneficiary form, no matter what your will says.

Many states have laws that automatically remove an ex-spouse as a beneficiary after divorce. But those laws don’t cover everything. Employer-sponsored plans like most 401(k)s and work life insurance fall under federal law, and the U.S. Supreme Court has ruled that federal law can override those state rules. In plain English: if your ex is still listed on your work 401(k), your ex may still get it.

• Log into every retirement account and life insurance policy and check who’s listed.
• Name new primary and backup (contingent) beneficiaries.
• Check whether your decree requires you to keep your ex on a policy, for example to cover child support. If it does, follow the decree.

2. Your Will

If you have a will from your marriage, it probably leaves everything to your ex and names them as executor. Some states revoke those provisions automatically at divorce. Others don’t, or only do it partly. Don’t gamble on it. Write a new will.

If you never had a will, now is the time. Without one, your state decides who inherits, and the result might not be what you want for your kids.

One more thing: your new will is useless if nobody can find it. Keep the signed original somewhere safe, like a fireproof document safe, and tell the person you named as executor where it is.

3. Guardianship and Who Controls the Kids’ Money

This is the part that keeps divorced moms up at night, so let’s be straight about it.

If something happens to you, the kids’ other legal parent usually gets custody. That’s true in most cases no matter what your will says. A will can’t simply cut a fit parent out.

But here’s what you can control:

• Who manages the money you leave them. A trust lets you name a trustee you trust, like your sister or best friend, to handle their inheritance, so it isn’t automatically in your ex’s hands.
• A backup guardian. If both parents are unable to care for the kids, your named guardian is who the court looks to first.
• Your wishes on the record. If you have real safety concerns about the other parent, talk to a family-law attorney about what you can document now.

4. Power of Attorney and Health Care Directive

If your ex is still named as your financial power of attorney or health care agent, they could be the one making decisions if you’re in the hospital. Replace both documents and give copies to the new people you name. Update your HIPAA release while you’re at it.

5. Accounts, Credit, and Your Name

• Close or refinance joint credit cards and loans, and remove your ex as an authorized user.
• Pull your credit reports and consider a credit freeze if you’re worried about accounts opened in your name.
• Scrub your info off the internet. Your ex knows your old address. Data broker sites may already list your new one. A service like Optery finds and removes your personal info from people-search sites. (More in HER’s privacy-after-divorce guide.)
• Get a clear picture of your money. Starting over on one income? A free tracker like Empower puts your accounts, budget, and net worth in one place.
• Change passwords, security questions, and two-factor phone numbers on every account your ex might know.
• Changing your name? Start with Social Security, then your driver’s license, passport, bank, and employer.
• Lost health coverage through your ex’s job? Ask about COBRA. Divorce is a qualifying event, and you have a limited window to elect it.

HER’s Buyer’s Guide: Getting Your Plan Done

You don’t need a $3,000 attorney package to get the basics done right. Here are the options HER recommends, ranked on how well they cover a divorced mom’s needs, plus accuracy.

Affiliate links: HER may earn a commission at no cost to you. As an Amazon Associate, HER earns from qualifying purchases.

Your 30-Minute Post-Divorce Checklist

• Check and update every beneficiary form
• Write a new will
• Set up a trust and name a trustee for the kids
• Name a backup guardian
• Replace your power of attorney and health care directive
• Separate joint accounts and lock down your credit
• Change passwords and security questions

Quick Answers

You Did the Hard Part

You got through the divorce. This part is just paperwork, and it’s the paperwork that protects your kids. Block 30 minutes this week and check off the list. Then go do something nice for yourself. HER’s Fresh Start list has ideas.

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